November 20, 2012   |No Comments

Day 66: NHL Lockout Causing Spike in Sex Toy Sales! (Yes, It’s Come to This)

So far 327 games have been canceled through Monday night.

Speaking of Monday night, last night, the NHL and NHLPA got together again, which was a good sign, but only for two hours, which was not.

Another player is calling out NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. “You gotta cut out the cancers,” Florida Panthers winger Kris Versteeg told TSN Radio. “(You) have to look at (deputy commissioner) Bill Daly and Bettman … They’ve been polluting this game for far too long.”

At least there’s some silver lining for Canadian sex toy shops. Sales are reportedly up! “When Oilers fans, mostly guys, have to break their routine of seeing every game, they have more time,” one Edmonton sex shop owner said. “And there’s nothing better than spending it with your spouse or girlfriend.”

Please just kill us now…

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